I feel terrible if I break-up...

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thewayfear
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Dec 01, 2020 3:52 am

I'll try and keep this short.

My boyfriend and I were friends for a couple of years (we're both 30), then I stopped travelling around the world and pursued him to be in a relationship (now 1.5 years).

Things were going great and we were both happy, would have sex on a regular basis, we mainly only did oral, I'm more into anal (as a top) but he isn't into anal so much so we've only tried a few times, but every time I mention it he doesn't seem keen, so I've left it alone.

Then he started to have trouble "getting it up." It happened a couple of times and he said that "I'm sorry it's because I think people aren't attracted to me."

After that happened I started to lose my interest in sex between us (about 6 months ago) and now we rarely have it (maybe once a month). Since then I've started to lose my attraction to him, I don't find him as sexually attractive as I used to (not sure what happened). Even if he did offer to try anal I can't seem to find the motivation to have sex with him.

Apart from that we get on great, but I feel as though I'm starting to see him more as a friend. If sex was great between us, then I reckon I'd be very happy to stay as boyfriends since everything else is working out.

I've been thinking about breaking up (about 3 months now) but I would feel terrible for a few reasons:

- His previous boyfriend broke up with him without reason, which he struggled to come to terms with.
- He's very self-conscious about his weight, so if I tell him that I don't find him attractive anymore it would erode his mental health (he's sees a psychologist).

If I did break up, I would try and be honest as possible, probably say something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I feel like we've lost the spark between us, which has affected our relationship, my feelings towards you and also our sex life."

Thoughts?
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