Category Archives: Celebs

A Funny Look at Creepy Bi Hater Ted Haggard

Former Gay/Bi basher and one time Colorado Springs New Life Church pastor Ted Haggard will make a cameo appearance as himself in an upcoming pro-abstinence “Christian sex comedy” titled “The Waiting Game”, according to the Colorado Springs Gazette.

The film is being developed by two Colorado Springs men, Rich Praytor and Emilio Martinez, former stand up comics turned filmmakers. The Gazette also reports that the two are looking to raise $2 million dollars to shoot the film for which they’ve already written the script and produced a trailer.

If they reach their financial goal, they will begin shooting September 1, 2011 in Colorado Springs.

In the trailer for the film, Haggard, in what looks to be a coffee shop, eavesdrops on the conversation of a sexually frustrated, newly married man who says, “I’m so frustrated. You know, I’m just going to do what I want to do anyway, it’s not like it’s going to wind up on the front page of the newspaper.”

Haggard leans over and says, “Hey buddy, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Ted Haggard resigned from his Colorado Springs-based New Life megachurch in 2006 after allegations and eventual admission from Haggard that he had a sexual relationship with a gay male escort. In a recent interview in GQ magazine, Haggard opened up about the scandal stating, “Here’s where I really am on this issue. I think that probably, if i were 21 in this society, I would identify myself as a bisexual.”

Our take: Anyone who would listen to this creep’s opinion about anything is just empowering him to continue to spread his misguided message of hate.

And, because we can, here are a few funny quotes by others about “Reverend” Haggard:

“They say he used church funds to pay for the male prostitute. That’s like robbing Paul to pay for Peter.”

“Haggard was exposed by a male escort named Mike Jones, who said he was troubled by the hypocrisy of Haggard’s public support for a Colorado initiative to ban same-sex marriage. And you know you’re in trouble when you’ve ceded the moral high ground to a drug-dealing prostitute.”

“Ted Haggard, the minister who was caught with a gay prostitute, has just finished a three-week sex addiction program. He says he is now ‘completely heterosexual.’ Haggard says he will prove he is completely heterosexual by having sex only with men who are completely heterosexual”

“Good news for Reverend Ted Haggard. Remember him? He was the President of the National Association of Evangelicals, who resigned after he admitted fondness for gay men and meth amphetamines. After the scandal, he checked himself into Gay-A, which is increasingly popular. And it looks like things worked out great. As a final test, he was forced to spend two grueling hours in a sauna with O-Town.”

“Drugs? Nude massages? Is it getting to where you can’t tell the Protestant clergy from a Catholic priest?”

“Haggard resigned after allegations surfaced that he frequently paid a man for sex. People are shocked because this guy’s always been a critic of gay marriage. In defense, the Christian leader said, ‘Hey, it’s not like I married the guy.”

“I have some sad news for the gays, they have lost one of their own this evening — Ted Haggard, the evangelical preacher, who as you know, was caught doing meth and f***ing dudes. The Denver Post is reporting that he is now ‘completely heterosexual.’ People say how did they turn this clearly gay man into a heterosexual? It’s very simple. You know when you were a kid and your father caught you smoking. Then he decided to make you smoke a carton. Ted’s been a busy boy.”